How I Can I Put This Politely ? (Fuck The Patriarchy)


It wants to keep you on your knees


Got you ever begging please


Guilt and shame lade upon you


And there’s nothing you can do


And it’s coming for you too


Says men are all just dicks


Deceitful, full of tricks


Loves to see her on her knees


House work done with elbow grease


Keep her down despite the pleas



Patti Pumpkin-Head

Zhe was an assassin for hire

Eyes full of fire

A wicked grin from side to side

A width of head a bit too wide

Patti Pumpkin-Head was shot dead by looters

Killing Patti from their computers

Running raids and missions

Earning all kinds of commissions

Just to hunt poor Patti down

But before zhe died

zhe gave them one final scare

As Patti’s Pumpkin-head exploded everywhere

Cos in there resides the most toxic of all things

Decayed dead flesh and creepy- horrid things

So if there is one lesson to learn

before you go to your bed

Never ,ever, ever ,shoot a  pumpkin in the head

Dunking Rotten Apples

Time for a little song

Time for a little dance

Time for George Osbournes head on a lance

Time to sing

Time for a jig

Time for David Cameron to choke on that pig


Ungodly Hour

The Devil’s Night party ended at an ungodly hour

Watered-down wine with bread crumb fish

The flesh of Christ served upon a dish


The Scariest Thing About Today

It’s her 5th birthday today

But they simply cannot stay

They must all run away if they wish to see another day

All in it together

Riding out stormy weather

Crammed in like cattle

Not even half the battle

In hope of a home

In hope of a chance

In hope of avoiding deaths last dance


Scary Story

Let me tell you a scary story

About a horrid little Tory

Who grew up to be King

A wicked and cruel thing

Had no belief in human rights

Cared little for refugees plights

Had only one goal, one vision in sight

A world of gold all shiny and bright

No homeless streets

No poverty zones

Just wealthy employers and their vacuous drones

Working day and night, fingers to the bones


‘Do you think you were dressed appropriately?’

You stabbed me !

Why ?!

I’m bleeding…

Will I die ?

You were asking for it

Just look at that provocative attire !

Running around the town at night dressed as a vampire

Teasing anyone with a stake in hand

Penetration planned

but prosecution will expire

Just look at that provocative attire !

Running around the town at night dressed as a vampire